Shut up and Listen

This morning I read an extraordinary article written by a priest to the Catholic church about how to deal with the impact on others of its painful past.

"Shut up and listen," was the gist of his message. Further, "one of the hardest things as priests is being able to sit in the woundedness of someone else, really without saying a thing. And yet, that’s really, that’s really how anything heals".

I am no priest but this message speaks to the very quality - presence - that I am always working to deepen in my 1:1 sessions and my group programs as well.

Being able to sit in the woundedness of someone else without trying to fix, solve, diminish, explain or avoid happens as we learn to do the same within ourselves. Author Cory Muscara described this perfectly, "Your ability to hold space for another person's suffering is directly related to your ability to hold space for your own suffering. If you haven't gone deep with your own pain, you'll feel a subconscious block to the vulnerability required to hold the pain of another person."

God, that is so true.

Over the years, my one-to-one clients have often helped surface nuances of my own pain and I've eagerly welcomed this personal side benefit. Over 20 years, every time I've left a client session feeling inadequate or self-critical say, I silently acknowledge this as a gift and go within to sit with the unsavoury flavour of it until it dissipates. I use the very tool I teach - the In Deeper Process - to come back to the next day of clients with continually less baggage and more presence.  

This practice of clearing the clutter from my inner space has perfectly dovetailed with the many innovative programs and products I've created over the years.

Because of what I understand about quantum physics, for example, I know that when I free my own self of an old emotional pattern, I'm not affecting only me.

And that the very sensory apparatus we feel difficult emotions with also lets us sense subtle energies, like the shifts in the emotional state of another person. This realm gives us access to our intuition and future potentials as well.

As we clear our inner space of attention-grabbing distress and pain, those subtle sensations care more easily noticed. And, by learning the emotional skill of being present to difficult feelings, we also gain skill in deliberately generating emotions that feel good too!

One particular good-feeling emotion I'm having a lot these days is gratitude to the people who helped me create this new website over the past 8 months. It feels like an authentic expression of me as a person and also makes it easier to understand and access what I offer. Including the new podcast I'm about to launch with my friend and colleague Dr. Charan Surdhar. It's called The Miracle Doctors: the science and practice of miracle-making and we can't wait for you to hear it.